Gaurav's Blog

This can usually be found on Twitter.

Observant readers will note that unlike last time, I'm not posting an insane (and inane) stream of posts on the count-down to leaving Singapore. Partially, it ain't such a bit thing any more ... home is home, different faces, different people, and Singapore is Singapore. Sure, it'd be great to get away from the lab (no offense, but I'm poofed!) and it'll be great to not have to worry about clothes and money and ... but I guess I still will, atleast about money and stuff like that, I guess. I am changing. And that's a good thing.

I think the biggest change ... is a (slight, somewhat) change in my attitudes towards friends. From making like having a close friend was the greatest thing in the world, I've come around to the realisation that there are a lot of great people in the world, and most of them are quite fun to hang out with, and that - surprise, surprise - I can actually make friends with some of them! (in my own ... persistant, irritating way, I guess). So ... maybe, after all, I won't be lonely this Christmas.

I suppose - ironically, considering how much time and energy I've spent thinking about this the last couple of years - I think what I'd want most for Christmas would be just the ability of sit down - by myself - and relax. Unwind. Let myself go. Be alone, be happy - and loving it.

I know I can't get by like that. I know I'll need - want - people around me, friends I can trust and rely on, or just cool people who're fun to hang out with. But I'd love to find enough inner peace to be able to just ... be by myself, without feeling like I'm left out of the current. Everything's really coming together, though. I was thinking about last sem earlier tonight, and it struck me: three semesters ago, I was confused. Last-to-last sem, I was just plain wrong. Last sem, I was right, but the truths I was seeing - and learning - were painful. Yes, the last semester has been hell, but I needed it to put things behind me and move on, and hey - all births are painful. Now let's see what this baby can do.

Adios, amigos. Break a leg, and tell me all about it in Jan. And - most of all - take care of your loved ones, but yourselves first.

This post was posted by Unknown at 4:56 am