Gaurav's Blog

This can usually be found on Twitter.

Okay, first the bad news:

1. Still not got much done viz-a-viz crabs, flies, etc.
2. No significant improvements in: family unity, self discovery or general improvement to quality of life

Now, the good news:

1. Have actually found something interesting to do! Basically, have been trying to think of ways for the Cat Welfare Society to make money, and trying to think of places where I can get booths, make money, etc. (shameless plug: I don't know too much about the CWS right now. What I do know is that they desperately need financial help. If you love cats, and/or can help in anyway, please go to their website NOW!) At the same time, a lot of "we have spare booths, is anyone interested?"-type mails are flowing into my e-mail account, so it's a lot of fun, but it's also something I can get really interested in. Of course, this might be temporary excitement thing (which is fine; if I do something, for the basest, most unimpressive reason, and if it benefits someone important, then that's alright), but it might not, you know? So let's see. I'm quietly optimistic on this one.
2. List of people I chat with and e-mail have increased tremendously. When I came to B'lore, I had less than five people who I'd consider close friends; now, that's up to about ten or so :). So cool, right?

So on the whole, I'm not doing too bad. Got to get some stuff settled - disciple, work, etc. - and some stuff working - zoo, volunteering, studies - and hopefully (hopefully!) - my next semester in Singapore will be quite unlike the last few.

(Of course, it would be impossible for it to be anything like the last three sems, so ... *grins*)

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Anyone who wants to see House of Sand and Fog, do yourself a favour and watch One Night at McCool's instead. I've not seen the House of Sand and Fog, but I've read the book, and trust me, ... McCools is funnier, harder, and has the theme of mistakes multiplying brough out really nicely. Also Paul Reiser rocks!!!

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Oh, man, I used to love this show! Check out the He-Man Page (other sites on http://flyingmoose.org/ are quite nice, too!)

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The Matrix just finished. This is a fun movie! Why didn't the same guy(s) make the other two? It could have been such an awesome series! Anyways, me off. Long day tomorrow (maybe). Let's see where we go from here!

Oh, oh, oh: "Enterprise" just started! This is such an incredibly stupid show, I'm so tempted to watch! Should I should I?

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Life, as I'm sure you know already, can really, really be a drag.

Don't get me wrong. Its not like I'm not having fun. Problem is, that's all I'm having. In the last two days I have spoken with six interesting women (three of whom I've already had crushes on before), patted two dogs, ate seven servings of ice cream (three with chocolate brownie), three chicken servingsate Indian-Chinese food (for my Chinese friends: nothing like Chinese food, trust me!), ate outdoors once, and ate at home twice. I have also had an interesting conversation about Salman Rushdie, went to a book reading, and bought 1,000 rupees worth of books (not all for me, of course). I have travelled on a Bangalore bus for the first time in my life, and exited at exactly the right stop. I have tried to make amends for two mistakes I've made in the past year (don't ask. Please). I have visited my favourite bookstore, two of Bangalore's shopping malls, and one of my closest friends in Bangalore. The number 42 has featured in my life a number of times, but only significantly only once (I think).

I have watched half of about four movies, and one movie entirely. I have sent about six-seven e-mails (which isn't bad for me) and tried to organise atleast two meetings. Also, I'm going for lunch to my friend tomorrow.

The point I'm trying (through this irritating web of personal indolence) to make, is simply that nothing in my life is personally fulfilling. Problem of a life lived too easy. Hopefully, tomorrow, a whole set of rather important e-mails will flow in my direction :D. Let's see, I might get lucky!

Seriously: to live, a man needs more than bread. He needs Purpose. If he finds that, the rest will follow.

Mental Note: Never use "dl" tags in a blog.

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Here's a nice website with art from the HP books: check it out.

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Undeniably cute. Well, my opinion anyways. Welcome to my blog! A Bombay fan-page

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Probably my all-time favourite poet! Check him out on WikiQuote!

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Who am I? Walking around in my TV room a while back, I was thinking about this, and my mind went off on a rather interesting tangent. I started thinking of fictional characters who I particularly related to (because "people always love best what they Identify most with" - paraphrase, paraphrase!), and here are some I came (and am coming) up with. So who am I? Well,

Holden Caulfield

Probably the first guy I really identified with, so I'll start here. I'm a bit Holden Caulfield, but to be honest, not so much really. But most guys go through this phrase, I suppose, and I know I still do it sometimes - these phases when I want to save myself (myself mostly, not so much Holden that way) from the Ravages of Adulthood, to be a child forever. Like Holden, I have problems because I perceive myself as being too rich for my own good. For a long time, I felt for a girl in much the same way (and in much the same context, sadly enough) as Jane Gallagher. And like just about everybody, I have a lot of nostalgia about some stuff. I just went to Bombay in the last couple of days, and I was absolutely shocked by how ... well, with me, generally I go to a place (like the Esplanade in Singapore) and I bring back all these images, sounds, emotions, events ... things which happened before, after, everything ... but I bring them back, you see, I actually coax them out from underneath the thin covering of my brain. But, Priyadarshini Park ... the memories just kept coming. I didn't want them, to tell you the truth, but they just kept on coming. Flashes. Images. People. In some cases, nothing more than a dull, gentle sense of "you sat over there, over on that hill, once". But they came unbidden, and that freaked me out a bit.

Okay, horrible digression, I know. But Holden got very nostalgic, too, and about many things - the museum, NYC, Central Park. It's a flaw, I think - to focus too much on the past, to both rest on the laurels of past spoils and to blame upon its indelible face your present and future. But it's nostalgia, and we are only human, and the past is what made us what we are.

Of course, I'm not really Holden ... I'm not so "angry" with everything and everyone (in my better moods, I'm an optimist!) and I don't think I'm so obsessed with the past. Atleast, I try not to be. Still love his cyncism and his view on life, though. I suppose that's probably his appeal: the younger brother (and the child in us) we never had.

The Great Ones

Before I go on, some (fictional) heroes of mine who I really don't feel I could compare myself too. But maybe, you know, someday ... ?

1. Jonathan Livingston Seagull (a Better Bird, for sure!)
2. Dominique Lapierre (okay, maybe not so fictional ... but what the hell? He sure sounds like one. Read "A Thousand Suns" and you'll see what I mean).

Maybe that's life? Man, always and forever, torn between his heroes and his villains, his tomorrows and yesterdays. Waiting forever for a future which might not come, working hard to escape a yesterday which snaps at his heels. Trying to make it in a world where nothing is real, everything is trapped in cycles of dust-to-dust-to-dust-to-... and what is the escape? Death, or Something Better? The quest for higher purposes: a futile tower of Babel or a ladder to the stars? Who - honestly - knows, and who - really - cares? My hands are tired, and I'm sleeping, but I must put the last person on this list (this hideously incomplete list, I might add. Ah, well. Tomorrow, perhaps?)

Saleem Sinai

Sometimes, when I think of myself, the image I get is something similar to the cover of the play version of Midnight's Children. Why Saleem Sinai, "variously called Snotnose, Stainface, Baldy, Sniffer, Buddha and even Piece-of-the-Moon"? Well, you have the obvious parallels: born in and (for me, I should point out, just a teensy weensy bit) in love with this little island. Grew up on essentially the same road (he grew off Warden Road, now called Bhulabai Desai Road, which turns sharply at Kemp's Corner into Nepeansea Road, off which can be found the skyscraping "Manek" building ...), near the same ocean, the same buildings, a stone's throw from the Hanging Gardens (not mentioned in this book), beyond which lay (and lies!) Marine Drive, the "Queen's Necklace" at night, rimmed with squat, serious, mouldy-old buildings, and hitting Colaba at high speed at the gigantic Air India building (from where a straight road will take you by Oval Maiden, by the gardens where once I played, through an intersection to the very Beginning of Bombay itself: the Gateway of India, imperial, ancient, and - like the city it belongs to, and from whence it sprung - an anachronism. To live in a city that is an anachronism - a shifting, chaotic mass of all that she encompasses, both master and slave to her unruly servants, History and Money - is an experience, one that should neither be taken too lightly, nor (now hear this, Gaurav!) too heavily. You are born, you live, and you learn. Incidently, I didn't go to the three places where most of my Bombay memories are to be found: Manek and Ridgeway. Tiredness, a lack of time, and - of course - fear, a shuddering wish to not relive it all - kept me back (one evening at PDP was bad enough!) Po Bronson writes that the really interesting cities to live in are those with a conflict inherent in them: North vs South, Black vs White, Capitalism vs Communism. Bombay - Mumbai - is Poor vs. Rich. Plain and simple. There are a million undercurrents, a million tiny tiny things, but at heart, it's just rich vs. poor. Then again, that might be my upper-middle-class upbringing talking :). And I am now comprehensibly offtopic. Ai ya.

Getting back: mostly, I identify with Saleem - okay, it's getting late here, so I'll just put in the major point - because I do that. I do magic. I move things: people, places, whatever. I make things happen. Not always - not even once in a while - but once in a once in a while, things just bang together, in perfect uncontrollable synchrony. I don't really believe in it, but it works out for me. It does. I know I must be sounding like a maniac (go ahead, it's 2:53am - blame the time!) but it's true. It happens. Ask anybody.

There are a lot, lot, lot of other reasons why I really like Saleem Sinai, but I'll share 'em with you later. Right now, I've gotta go ... to sleep? Not sleepy yet :(. Maybe will read for a while or something. God, I hate ruining my sleep schedule :( :( :( ...

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How is it done, you ask? What is the way? What hallowed path must you tread?

1. Singapore Zoo Bus Station [Map] : Walk west along road until Mandai Rd (1km?)
2. Take 171 until Ngee Ann Poly (get off opposite Bukit Timah Plaza on Jalan Anak Bukit [Map]).
3. Walk south until you get to King Albert Park. From here, you can catch bus 151 to NUS. [Map]
4. Bus 151 comes south along NUS cresent, going Raffles-YIH-Central Lib. Home sweet home!

And that, ladies, gentlemen, and young kids everywhere, is what you need to do. (oh, and Gaurav? You can go the other way by repeating all instructions in reverse, sequential order. Have fun!)

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Downloading Squeak...

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Just as a way of distracting myself for the next fifteen minutes or so, let me pitch some stuff (this is what blogs are supposed to be best at, by the way - to let people who google for something a chance to read unbiased opinions).

First of all, I'm reading The Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russell. Quite a nice book, with lots of interesting points (my favourite so far: the lives of the greatest people in history ... are boring! From Darwin, writing books in a country farm, to Newton, who never left England. It's something to think about, particularly since I'm the type who believes a boring life - or day - is the very worst thing possible). First time I tried to read it, I found it a bit boring and "patriarchal", as one website put it, but finding it much interesting on the second reading. If you like this book, you might like How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie, which is full of good, workable advice. I'd be reading it, but my copy has been loaned out.

Secondly, the book I really want to pitch is What Should I Do With My Life? (Buy it now!) by Po Bronson. I loved the way Bronson writes. It's hard to describe. He writes in the simplest, most straightforward way he can, but with a charm and conversational style I haven't seen much before. Also, he doesn't try and "teach" you anything: to a large degree, he just puts the stories onto paper and lets the lesson speak for itself. And the stories are well researched - half-way through the book, I have already met Harward graduates and college dropouts, farm-dwellers and apartment-dwellers, successes and failures. But the stories which speak out loudest are the special ones: a woman who worked all her life to become a docter, only to discover she couldn't stand the job. A Buddhist who, at the age of seventeen, got a letter from the Dalai Lama telling him about his previous life and elevating him, then and there, to a reincarnated saint. If you're seriously thinking about what you want to "make of yourself", here's a career book with a twist.

Oh ... also reading Shame by Salman Rushdie. It's kind of cute, really - it has a completely different voice than Midnight's Children, a rather nastier-but-funnier kind of voice. Very awesome, as Rushdie goes. But what else is new?

Probably won't post anything now until I return from Bombay, so ... until then!

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A really interesting article ... must read for anyone interested in (1) the future of Windows, (2) the reasons why they won, and (3) why they are going to loose.

1. Joel on Software - How Microsoft Lost the API War

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Firefox 0.9 was released two days ago. It's quite nice - the main visible difference is the GUI (basically different icons). But it looks okay, and if I cannot make it, I can always flip back to the old theme, so that's alright. It's much smaller than the last version (4.7MB). The most exciting thing here is that 0.9 generally means "almost-though-not-quite-complete", so this (minus any bugs which turn up) is what Firefox 1.0 is going to look like. The most stiking thing is the going-back-in-time here: this browser reminds me uncannily of MS Internet Explorer 2.0! The beautiful thing about Firefox is that, with each successive version, it actually looks simpler and simpler - rather unusual for the computer industry! Tomorrow I leave for Bombay, to return on Tuesday. Hopefully this will give me a chance to get stuff "off my head", though as always, you can never be sure ... (Statutory Warning: I'm not depressed, I'm just *whacked*. Really tired and stuff. Life looks weird.)

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A few more links.

1. Singapore Homes & Offices for Sale, Buy, Sell, Rent @ Adpost.com Classifieds > Singapore > Singapore Homes & Offices for Sale, Buy, Sell, Rent,free,classified ad,classified ads
2. Chong Hok Realty Pte Ltd

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JobSG :: Singapore free jobs search, classified ads, private tuitions in home (Gawd, my blog has become so boring, hasn't it?)

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Study abroad with Semester at Sea, a program of the Institute for Shipboard Education

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An "Ask Slashdot" by someone who thinks they're smarter than the average. But has some *great* real-world advice on life. Slashdot | Uniquely Bright: Experiences and Tips?

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Just did a ... different version of the MBTI(tm) test, and according to that, I am ...

1. 33% Introverted
2. 1% Sensing
3. 33% Feeling
4. 89% Perceiving

Making me, in short, an ISFP!

1. Link

Hmmm ... personally, I've always believed that I'm an INFP. The more I read, the more sure I am, so lemme put some links up to that as well:

1. Link
2. Link
3. Link

I think I'm slightly E of the standard INFP though, but that might be just my imagination ... (Yep, just some of the incredibly jobless things I'm doing these hols :)

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What will tomorrow bring? Will I end it happier? Sadder? Or much the same? I'm guessing - or rather, hoping - that tomorrow, some of the things which have been on my mind will come to a head, and I will get some answers - even if they're not the answers I want, an answer is an answer, and there's nothing I can do about that. Ah, well. There's still a lot of stuff on my mind, mostly to do with home and stuff. But there's nothing much I can do about them, so I go on, barreling head-first into whatever may come! On the good side, I haven't been this optimisitic about my life in a long, long time. I shouldn't be - I know - but I am, and it feels absolutely great! Sigh ... it's not going to last, I guess. But I suppose I might as well enjoy it while it's around ...

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Yeah, so, what to do? Decisions choices thoughts engulf me. The intersection between my interests, my intended spending habits and jobs worth doing seem absolutely zot. Maybe something will open up ... and then again, maybe it won't! Okay, needless depressing going on here. In the absence of anything better, I'm joining these guys, so there. N.B. Just realised I'm posting a lot of short posts. Probably the effect of being at home, and not having any immediate, major worries. Let's see what happens next ...

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Just a single link: Zeal.com - Singapore - New - Lifestyle - Pets & Animals - General Resources

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This is kind of interesting. Basically, it's a company which allows you to broadcast a voice message directly into space. Before you look up the company website, check out this article from SFgate.

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If you like dogs (or are, rather boringly, interested in comparative psychology), you'll want to read this article from SFGate.

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Some good links:

1. Singapore Expats: Amazing locations, good prices, but is it for real? But very nice site, on the whole.
2. Expatriates: Cheap places. Not a very nice site, though.
3. NUS OSA website. The dreaded three letter word!
4. ITRealtor: Snazzy looking website.
5. OrangeTee's website: Very nice-looking.
6. Innovative Agency: Very detailed database these guys have!

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... yay! Wow, it's been a long, long time. Of basically nothing. I LOVE BLOGGING! :D

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This is my Horoscope for today. Does a surprisingly good job at summing up my life, actually:

The best way to appear in control is to give it up entirely. Others think that you're wise and capable because all of these tricky, last-minute details don't faze you. In fact, there's a lot of stuff coming in under your radar, but you just happen to be incredibly lucky. Whatever the stars are doing for you now, at least it's consistent. Have faith in yourself and you'll soon set a self-generating illusion in motion. Then you can quietly dust off your hands and walk away. Your public smile turns into helpless laughter once you're alone. - Horoscopes by Email - Celebrity Compatibility - Dating Do's and Don'ts

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Thinking of volunteering this semester. What d'yu say?

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Hello, The title might be a bit of a blunder, because I'm sleepy, and when I'm sleepy, I'm likely to ramble on incoherently for a while, so bear with me. I'm dead sleepy (it feels so nice to be dead sleepy at 1:30am! Ah, the simple pleasures of life!) I had atleast three things to write about, but I've already forgotten one (hmm ...) so let me see if I can blunder my way through the others. 1. GANDHI You've got to admire the man. What he did - whatever his motives, reasons, beliefs, etc - it took guts. He wanted to make a saint out of himself - he honestly, truely aspired (from what I've heard, anyways) to Sainthood. That's always ambitious. You can't help but admire a man who sets out to do something so outrageous, and then pulls it off like no-one before or since. Also, I admire a man with that much sheer charisma. Twice - first in the 1920s, and then in the 1930s - he brought the whole of India to a standstill, making the strongest, more veherment oppositions the British Raj had yet seen, on a nationwide scale unimagined before, and all the while trying not to shed a drop of the invader's blood. Whenever I read or watch anything to do with Gandhi, the message I always come away with is: find something which motivates you to no end, then pursue it with everything you've got. Unfortunately, that first step has got me stumped. And I'm worried whether I can - or have - done anything about it. 2. LOVE Okay, weird jump there, I'd admit, but trust me that this is coming from an entirely different part of my brain entirely. This is something close to me, so I'll talk in riddles for a while (bored readers are invited to skip ahead to section three, where the talk will liven up a bit, and we shall see some talk about how the above two sections relate to *me*, the Blog Writer). Right. Love. How sure are we about the preconcieved notions of what - for want of a better name - we call love. What do we really know about this mysterious force, this driver of lives? I mean, to a large degree, an arranged marraige contravenes my idea of what love should be all about. If asked, I'm still going to refuse an arranged marraige (chorus of "nobody asked you!" ... ah well. Just as a side point, my cat is farting like crazy tonight. Weird.) But yeah. I would. But I know friends who would be fine with an arranged wedding, and friends-of-friends who believe that it's the better option, even. But so far, I've seen so many examples of arranged marraiges which WORK. The dynamics are always weird (well, not always. I shall maintain strict secrecy on whom I'm talking about, but I know atleast one couple who I know barely met before their wedding, and yet - immediately after it - looked, talked and acted like the closest of friends). (My cat has now gotten up, walked over, and snuggled up into the side of my chest. It's such a nice feeling being loved!) I suppose the lesson ought to be: don't overpredict love. You can't box it with other emotions or try and predict what it's supposed to be from books, television or - heck, let's admit it - friends and family. Maybe "true" love doesn't exist. Then again, maybe it does, and wouldn't it be worth it, if it did? Would it be worth the wait to know? I think it would. 3. LIFE Yeah. Life. *Mine*. Simply put, how to set things up such that I have roti, kapda aur makan? A hard question, for a man of my questionable interest in life. I really, honestly have no clue. I have so many things that I've wanted to become, every once in a while. When you get down to it, the only options which remain for any amount of time are environmentalist and zookeeper (in reverse order of wanting-to-be). Both seem interesting, but I feel I'm unqualified for both. But then? I'm just so confused ... (and *cut*. That's all I have to say on that subject. For now.) I suppose it's holidays, so I should/could scout up on job prospects and see what turns up ... maybe, just maybe! Who can say?

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I'm alive! *wink*

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Might later edit this into a more interesting read later ("He who controls the present controls the past" - George Orwell) and I have to run if I'm to see my sister do a debate at Chennaswamy stadium. Until then, I'll just leave some links behind: 1. World Environment Day 2004: official webpage 2. BNHS: A Bombay-based environmental organisation 3. WWF: Everybody knows this one :). But have you visited their Indian website? Things you can do: 1. Find out the small steps you can take to make things easier for the environment. Make a pledge to reduce wastage (my pledge for the year: reduce my paper usage! Really waste too much ...) 2. Go down to your local World Environment Day "celebration" and take part (in Bangalore: Chennaswamy stadium) 3. Go down to your local wildlife organisation and buy something from them! It might be a little pricey, but it's for a Good Cause. Happy World Environment Day! (yeah, I know. Sappy post. Bear with it ;)

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... you have to see to believe! Lomography awaits. Read particularly the Ten Golden Rules :).

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