This can usually be found on Twitter.
Post #443. I just saw my second episode of House (yes, at 3am - slept from 9:00 to 11:30 though), which - ironically - is also the first episode of House I've ever seen. The one about the kid who's hand has to be amputated. I'd like to go off on a tangent about amputations or medicine, but to stay on topic for a bit: it was a bit disappointing, because - having seen the ending before - I already knew the 'solution' to the mystery. It being House, it was still good fun though ("Let's assume for a moment that the world doesn't revolve around Cuddy's roof ..."; "[after suddenly breaking out into fluent Spanish] I swear I didn't understand a word I was saying"; "[after leaving the room, to the Spanish-only speaker] Sayonara!").
And, predictably enough (ha!), it ends with "Delicate". I don't think I could completely express exactly how that makes me feel right now. Bear in mind that two weeks ago, when it was "Hallelujah", I was thinking, it's going to be "Delicate" one of those days. I suppose the upside of happiness is that both songs are out of the way, and I can sit back and just enjoy House from herein on.
Okay, I exaggerate. It's always just a little more fun swirling in the twists and turns of the strangeness of life than just sitting there – hey, can you follow your own story in the theme music of television shows? Not unless you're partially delusional, I guess! – and I guess it's nice to know that memories will be linked up with episodes which will still be around a year, a decade, a century down the line. And it's nice to remember ... the only thing more depressing than not being in love is not being to remember; the irony obviously being that you don't remember ‒ you think you do, but then you fall in love all over again, and you realise just how inadequate memories are for that feeling you get when you see someone right there in front of you and want them so bad.
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Hahahahahahahahahaha (stolen from Amit Varma)
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Talking Cock in Parliament has hit the online world now, with videos, photos, more photos and reviews. Do check out the videos: Alex Au, Ruby Pan, and Hossan Leong were the bestest, but they're all really good.
Also: the full transcript of Mr. Au's speech is available online.
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Pardon the horrible formatting; I wrote this in Pine. I may or may not fix it up later. With my blog this ugly - sigh! - it really isn't worth the effort. I'll clean it up this weekend. Promise!
My hand hurts like crazy, and I'm in a bad mood (although a friend [http://wearerolling.blogspot.com/] has been nice enough to keep me company), but I just read a really nice post [http://amruta.livejournal.com/56933.html], and just *had* to respond.
I'm typing this out in Pine, so the formatting is going to be lousy, to say nothing about the spellings etc. (I'm not going to start apologizing for the screwed up logic; if I start on *That*, I'm going to go on forever).
To begin with: I haven't seen Khamosh Pani, although it seems watchable, atleast if Amruta's thoughts are anything to go on. The thing which first caught my interest were:
The first thing I thought of while watching it was how we have been consistently lied to/decieved/not told about our own history.
But history's tricky that way, isn't it? Both from the "history is written by the victors" perspective, as well as the "some things are better forgotten" perspective. I wouldn't have known what little I know about Emergency if I hadn't read references to it in Midnight's Children. I wouldn't have known about the horrors of Partition without Freedom of Midnight. And that's just the books I've read with the words "Midnight" in them!
I can't help wondering what it would be like if the son (I forget his name) had been educated, had hopes of future employment, had been brought up in an education system that taught him self-esteem, that made him self-confident and not reliant on the "attention" of others that he so craved for. I can only wonder.
I don't know ... education taught me how to avoid the popular people and be happy by myself, and with my group of friends who were mostly people who were just about as geeky as I. It taught me that I sucked at maths, that you must NEVER get distracted while taking a walk, and that some people are really, really boring, and should be allowed to talk for half an hour on any topic (okay, fine, I exaggerate: my school days were mostly good, with only some tough moments, and most of them WERE important lessons, like if you don't jump in and take part, you'll just have to get used to a boring life, and if you lie, expect to get caught - and quickly - in a complicated web of your own deception).
I learned self-esteem, oddly enough, in college - and there, mostly just by finding people I could look up to and realising, hey, I wasn't so far behind them. I think, most of all, I figured out self esteem by realising that:
1. If I didn't love myself, nobody else would - and that loving yourself is pretty much the only way to have a good time in life anyway.
2. I could get self-esteem only by doing thinks well - and I can only do things well by focussing really, really hard on what I do, and learning how to do it as well as possible.
Okay, it probably seems obvious to you guys, but it took me a LONG time to figure this out. And it's the only reason I have any self-esteem these days. So.
So, I guess my story supports the original point: education does help with the whole self-esteem thing. But then a rather major (and a favourite) point pops right up in the next paragraph:
And this is the story of millions of youngsters today. Being brainwashed, indoctrinated until they reach a state where *nothing else seems to give them a sense of purpose*.
You don't have to look for the indoctrinated for that: I know tons of people who don't really have a 'sense of purpose', and are worried about where they're going, and what they're going to have to do when they get there - me included.
On the other hand, I don't see that as a bad thing: my parent's generation and before didn't *have* the choice, both because of economic reasons as well as a simple lack of options; you know, the old become-a-doctor-lawyer-or-engineer schtick. Choice is good - it means you've got a better chance of figuring out what you want to do ... and then spend the rest of your life doing it. I don't know about you, but that strikes me as being maybe the bestest thing possible. I mean, seriously - being able to do whatever you want? How cool is that?
There used to be a time when survival was its own reward. Now, it's not. It's up to you to pick the yardstick by which you're life will be measured, and nobody's going to tell you what to use.
This is where we fail to realise how public interest IS in our individual interest.
As long as you have a society (it's a ... your interest is inextricably linked to the society's and vice versa. You cannot, simply cannot, run away from that fact.
Well ... I'd argue that your interest is linked to 'the people around you', which is generally your society. Society is really something else, though - just look at animal communities, and you'll see what I mean. Lions have groups of one or a few males, and more females; the males mostly do nothing except (a) have sex with the females, and (b) fight off other males. This is critical, because the first thing a lion (or lions) do on taking over a pride (by scaring off the last males) is to kill every single male cub. It's in his interest to do so, and because he's bigger than the females, nobody can stop him.
I think (like, you know, off the top of my head at 2am) that society is at a Nash equilibrium for many people living together: everybody tries to get the most out of it they can, but they'll compromise at this point because nobody can improve on it without making things worse for themselves. But I'm just bullshitting here :p.
Times when mankind has stood in the face of a terrifying future. And what has man done in the past? When things got really really bad? He revolted. He fought, and he won. And so we have progressed.
Yes, but remember: history is written by the victors. People have fought, fought long and hard for their principles, beliefs, and rights, and LOST.
The thing that drove all revolutions was faith, hope and a belief that mankind can do better - that we can better our future and we can do it ourselves. All you need is hope.
Well, I'd argue that revolutions were driven by necessity, technology and Bernard Shaw's "unreasonable people" [http://thingspeoplesaid.blogspot.com/2006/08/all-unreasonable-people.html]. The French peasants didn't take down the rich until there was no bread. The Americans broke away from Britain to avoid paying taxes. India took almost a hundred years to break away from Britain, and that was (in my completely uninformed opinion) more because of influential leaders than any other single factor.
This is true of every religion. Of every ideal that started out as noble. Patriotism, too. All of them have been misinterpreted by man.
I hate idealism. I hate patriotism because I *can* - nobody cares enough, and I think the argument against patriotism is compelling: you can't love a piece of earth. That's just stupid. I love India, not as a geopolitical entity, but because of the people there, and because of the beauty of her lands. I love Singapore because of her attitude, and because of the admixtures. I think anything more - to insist that I must love every square inch of India because it's "my country" - is a bit silly. I don't love Chennai - it's got attitudes, in bucketloads, but the weather! And I find Bangalore boring, atleast in comparison to Bombay and Singapore. I don't think I'm emotionally required to love a land just because I was born there, is what I'm saying, or to think it is the greatest place in the world or anything.
I'm not a big fan of religion, either, but in a world where the vast majority believe in it, it's not my place to contradict. But I believe what I believe, which is how I like it.
Another thing that terrifies me is that we've reached a state today where people are not just contradicting your opinion, they're actively trying to stop you from having/propagating your own.
This is why freedom is speech is so incredibly important - in the fight against falsehoods, it's ALL we've got. As for your example: shit happens. People kill people. You can't really stop *that*, you know. The powerful will always silence the weak. The trick is to make sure that, in the beautiful words of the Indian National Motto, "Satyameva Jayate" (let truth prevail). People will die in the effort, but the alternate - to allow the victory of falsehood - is almost too horrible to imagine.
Love simply cannot coexist with hate.
This, more than anything else, is why I had to comment on this post. I firmly believe in the cliche, "The opposite of love isn't hate. The opposite of love is indifference". Atleast for me, if I love or hate someone - I'm being intensely emotionally involved with someone. If I don't like them, I can shout at them, or avoid them, or whatever. But if I hate someone, I will not be able to look at them without getting really angry on the inside. So, my thesis is that love and hate are two interconvertable parts of the same thing: intense emotion for someone.
Actually, maybe that *is* what you meant: if my thesis is correct, you can't love and hate someone at the same time, for much the same reason that you can't have Clarke Kent and Superman in the same room :).
Sometimes I wish I had been born stupid, then I wouldn't have to think about these things.
Haha. I don't suppose there's anybody who thinks otherwise; everybody thinks they're too smart for life. I'm sure there's a single, simple, obvious answer to that. I wish I knew what it was.
As an aside: I've realised I really like being an optimist. It suits me, like working with computers suits me. It just does. It's also fun accepting that humans are strange, sad, violent, angry, angsty, unhappy, dissatisfied, crazy, and - yes - willing to die for their purposes. And then going ahead and rooting for them anyway :). The fun thing is, unlike my usual supporting-the-underdogs, this time the underdogs just might really win after all.
As another aside: the Globe Trekker theme is quite possible the GREATEST piece of music I've ever heard. Or maybe I just like it so much because it's so unlinked: I've got people I think of when I hear such masterpieces as Beethoven's 9th Symphony, Lennon's Jealous Guy, Cohen's Hallelujah or McCartney's Hey Jude; but all I think of when I hear The Theme is: adventure. Excitement. People. People! The stories. The joy of being a part of something bigger than yourself, without forgetting who you are. The joy of living while you're alive. The joy! God, I love that music.
And it's going to have a bit on Singapore, too! Happiness.
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My stomach is out of whack - which is kind of strange for me. Okay, fine -- my *intestines* are out of whack. My stomach is, I suppose (I *hope*!) fine. It was pretty bad today, but slept quite a bit, and while I'm not feeling *better* (my body still feels f'd up), I am feeling less sick. Like, my body is still sick, but I feel more like I can drag myself along to anywhere I feel like.
I just spelled drag 'grad'. Maybe I *am* dyslexic.
Anyway: lots of running around and waking-up-early to do tomorrow, so I should atleast try to get an early start, I guess.
Lesse how things go.
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Nice day, all in all. Dead sleepy though it all - even a midday coffee rush (yum yum cookie spin yum) didn't do much to help. Nexus support is a pain to implement - a PAIN, absolutely! - but it's interesting, and it's fun to rush blindly ahead, then stop yourself just barely in time and go, hmmm, wait, there's a better way to do this.
Still, being dead (and I mean DEAD) sleepy is nice, and things seem to be getting easier in general in life, which I'll take as a good sign. Going to go up and try to sleep now. Lesse how that goes :). Good night, world!
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On "how to get a job in Silicon Valley" - or, I suppose, in any small business entrepreneurial environment. It's from Guy Kawasaki's blog.
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Just saw my first proper sit-down-and-watch-the-whole-episode of House. Nice. Appropriately enough, it ended with Hallelujah. And on this Monday, of all Mondays.
Atleast it wasn't Delicate ...
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'Twas a good day. Was up semi-decently (11:45) thanks to a call from home, asking for the URL for Flickr. Had a nice enough lunch, slept in the late afternoon, didn't really get much done ... until evening, when I sat down and assembled my brand new table. Unfortunately, this means I ought to make atleast an attempt at clearing up my room, which - as anybody will tell you - is a Herculean task. Am now playing around with Beagle, enjoying some fairly good music (in stereo; alas, no bass!), and just chilling out. With a Great Fan! In my room! Oh, joy.
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After the latest round of apt-get upgrade, QuodLibet's suddenly started working again! So I guess I can start listening to music again! Yay!
Haha, happy day.
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I managed to fix up Things People Said, after realising how disgustingly ugly it looked. Besides, eventually, it'd be nice to get a Fresh Durians logo onto that as well. Free advertising, and all that.
Besides, as I should know better than anybody else, a better layout means a better experience means a better website. I hated to browse through TPS, because it was so unwieldy - halfway through the cleanup, I got distracted going through the quotes and seeing what I could find. That's probably a good sign :).
Much of nothing else to report, I guess. I've been doing enough, just nothing worth mentioning. Lots of good movies, I guess. Lots of nice thoughts. Some sad ones. Considering that I've got the emotional heebie jeebies (since yesterday, atleast), it's
Now: to clean this pile of crap up =P. Definitely by blog post #450. Then we can have huge fun at #500!
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It reminds you that as long as there is beauty in the world - beautiful operas, beautiful women, stunningly beautiful music - that as long as there is beauty, there is *something*, and as long as there is *something*, it might just all be worth it.
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So: been out shopping etc. Went to Ikea and bought me a brand new table. Still have to assemble it.
With any luck: will get the bicycle fixed tomorrow, and then it's Back To Normal(ish), etc. Or, you know, something.
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In good spirits. I woke up doing the whole weakness thing ‒ with any luck, it is connected to the whole wasn't-getting-website-done thing, which &8210; yes ‒ could definitely become an issue. I actually get tomorrow off, in the sense that I can't do any of the numerous doctor-X-ray-papers-transcript things ‒ although, as usual, I should check in at the lab, etc.
Am watching a good movie, about a twenty-nine year old who gets pregnant, ends up in Canada (at her parents) and can't get back home. It's funny (the girl is upset about being fired, and her life in general; she complains about how old she's getting, just as her parents walk in with a birthday cake, stop the song mid-"birthday!", and - seeing the looks on everybody's faces - beat a hasty retreat), cute, romantic (he constructs a model of New York, and shows it to her the night - of course - that she enters labour). Sigh. How sweet.
Naturally, I blog about this on the Fresh Durians blog as well. Darn, I need a better logo though :). But we're kicking into gear! Yay!
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Wow. I really seriously feel bad enough to maybe even try to take tomorrow off. What a pain. What a lack of promise. Oh, what an artist dies in me!
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Yet another horrible waste of a day. Sigh. Atleast I caught up on mail/RSS/etc. somewhat. Otherwise, just as bad - or, err, good, I guess - as a Sunday can be. I should leave in another few minutes to see if I can manage to swing a haircut. Then, there's - possible - bicycle fixing. And then ... sigh. Nothingness, I guess. Sigh.
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Here I am, Friday night. My Gaim window reads: I am everybody's catalyst, Pradeep, Beck, Tourist, jangily. Wonder how many of those nick's I'll still remember whenever I look back on this blog, like, years and years later. Tourist is in Germany for now, Pradeep is in Scotland, Beck's in Singapore, 'catalyst in Bombay/Mumbai/whatever it's called this week. This is the first time Beck has messaged me since Monday; I haven't chatted properly with jangily in a while that I can remember, Tourist is obviously come and go, but I've been chatting with catalyst and Pradeep every day lately.
NEED to sleep. Really. Good thing, all things considered, etc. Good night, everybody.
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I just saw Sideways, and .. had fun. Really. It was good stuff. Almost made me cry, but really, that's probably more my state of mind than the brilliantness of the movie (although it has its sadder, pathos-ridden side). There's a nice interview with the director, if you're interested.
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Happy 3/8/6 day, everybody. Just saw it on Slashdot, although it turned up yesterday, which is fine by me -- 2/8/6s and I have histories (and wasn't yesterday pretty significant too?), but the 3/8/6 marks the bit where I Just Got Bored with computers ... well, roughly. Or something. Oh well.
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Just found out my aunt passed away about two hours ago. I actually thought about her, creepily enough in a "now, when she - eventually - dies, I'll probably be really depressed" or something like that. I also passed by my, err, psuedograve for Yoko. Weird. Strange. I just found out five minutes ago, and I really absolutely totally don't know what to do - what to do now, what to do later, what to do tomorrow. What to do, etc.
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Yesterday ended surprisingly rotten for a day which began neither here nor there (and actually had several "sweet spots", such as completing the mini-redesign I'd been working on, so that I could get on with Real Work today, :p, etc.)
Ended up sleeping vaguely on time (sometime between 11 and 12) and, sure enough, slept the prescribed 10 hours that my body seems to need (10:15, on the dot; with a lot of 5-more-minutes between 6:42, when I first got up, 7:42, when the alarm went off - NOT a coincidence, I set it that way - and 8:42, which was the last time the alarm was set to before I gave up and went back to sleep). The dreams were weird: a certain someone was there for a while, didi was there, as was my sister, as were cockroaches (this is just before I got up at 6:42); then I ended up in Australia, with a really rude train driver. Sighs.
Oh - and my handlebars have come loose, on Rocinante. HANDLEBARS. I mean, if it was the brakes, you could still ride it to the shop. Without handlebars, a bicycle won't *function* (not that they're off or anything, just liable to change their orientation wrt to the front wheel every once in a while). Thankfully, it conked out just after dinner (at the Across The River place), so I could push it back - slowly, painfully, etc., but imagine if it'd conked out at school! Or - heaven forbid - the slopes! Also, it turns out there's a spanner at home, so I'll give it a shot at fixing it myself, maybe.
And now I'm sitting around blogging cos I haven't the guys to take on today just yet. Also, the AFA volunteers thingie is on tonight, and that could get, um, nerve-wracking. Considering that I seem to be going through some kind of emotional turmoil with my realisation y'day that it might, actually, be really, truely OVER, makes today seem like, um, yeah, the kind of day you crawl back into bed, basically.
Shudders, shivers, nervous twitters.
Only time will tell, I guess.
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"A beach house," he said, "doesn't even have to be on the beach. Though the best ones are. We all like to congregate," he went on, "at boundary conditions". "Really?" said Arthur. "Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where body meets mind. Where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other."