Hello!
Okay, my comp is acting up a bit, so lemme be quick about this. Just to reassure you all that just because I'm not posting doesn't mean I'm not having fun. Some of the stuff I've been up to:
1. Staying up until 3am (yeah, okay, so I did that in Singapore too, but there I just got used to it ... this is Home, that sort of thing is just not Done. Plus, in Sing. there was an enormous alarm clock to wake me up, which for weight reasons I've left behind. So over here, all I have - pretty much - are my parents and my sis, and they are *bad* at getting someone like me up. But enough of this bracketed thing).
2. I'm going for Aerobics. Which was hell (body-wise, it was still fun!) when I started a week or so back. But now it's just Fun! I don't know most of the steps and exercises and stuff yet, and I still need to stop a few times (but so do most of the other people, and I am *Really* unfit). But now, less than a week later, I can *feel* that I'm much better than I was before. Sure, I still stop, but I stop for shorter periods now, I don't feel faint, and my muscles hurt less. I've never felt so fit!
3. Programming. I'm writing what should be a very simple, easy program - a Java viewer for FASTA files. So far, have rewritten almost everything (ground-up!) twice, and probably will do that a third time. Do I mind? NO! I love this kind of stuff. What I'm doing is, working on it until I get it Right (aka Working). Then rewrite it so it's easier and faster to writer, maintain and understand. That way, I improve myself, while enjoying myself too!
4. Tomorrow-obsessions. Lately (for most of the time I've been here) I've been obsessing about "Tomorrow" - that mythical time that is past the now, past Today. That time when all of Today's mistakes have been rectified, when Today's wrongs have been writed. Pretty prose aside, for me, when I've gotten over the last one and half years, one way or another. Note that: one way or another. By getting over them I don't mean getting over Her, or even getting over my memories and feelings of that time. I mean ... well, I suppose, I meant having the uncertainty settled one way or another: is it to be, or not to be? Obviously (well, obvious to anyone but me, until two days back) I'm thinking waaay too far ahead. The real tests will only come later. And while I'm waiting for tomorrow (and trust me, I was
waiting - lying around, racked in doubt, the whole deal), that doesn't mean I can't enjoy today! Which is what I've been trying to do, and rather enjoying myself at it too. To sum it up: have decided not to think about the long term (more accurately, that I can't think about the long term - that it's close to impossible for me to "get over her", not while I'm here and she's .. well .. nevermind). Yeah, just go on feeling what I'm feeling (and I *am* feeling) and to not let that interfere - for worse; it's fine to interfere for better :) - in my life at the moment. This is supposed to be, for me, a time to sit back and think about things, to look at life and figure out what I want. And to develop my skills - to get brilliant at that which I am good, and decent at that which I am bad. So. Enough on
that subject.
5. Shopping. And lots of it! Mostly clothes (my mom must be surprised; the first time I've shown an interest in shopping for clothes since ... well, ever). Got all kinds of cool trousers, three-quarter pants, trackpants, and shoes so far (well, singular for most, but it's a start!). On my second day back, bought a deo spray - only to find, on getting home, that my dad and my cousin sis in America have already got me one each in the last year! Ah well. I like the smell of mine tho :). okay, fine, so not *that* much shopping. But more than usual, and more involving me than usual. That's good, isn't it?
6. Swimming. Ah. Not so good. Had a terrible cold for the last four days. Now it's passed (completely!). Suspect it wasn't to do with my swimming, but with the sudden drop in temperature recently. In any case, maybe the pool is an option again? Have to master the art of underwater breathing, if for my own reasons.
7. Driving. Hopefully will start on Monday. Spoke to my mom about it, and nobody seems particularly freaked that I'm 20 and still license-less. Like my mom said, this is India - you can get it whenever, no problem. The trick is actually Knowing how to drive, hopefully will work on that next week onwords :).
(Pause. My cat just turned his head around in his sleep and breathed out deeply. Into my elbow. I love cats :)
8. Traveling. Not really going to happen, but maybe next holiday? But going to Bombay in early June, wonder how much of a "travel" I can make out of it. Trying to convince my parents to send me by train - 2nd class sleeper! But only half-heartedly, I'm a little spooked, to admit the truth.
9. People. YES! The Important one, and the one I really haven't been working on. Also the one i really NEED to work on, or rather Should - I had enough incentive last time, when I had been coached by the Best, but this time I've gotten to know (atleast a bit) *two* really amazing awesome talk-with-anyone-and-everyone kind of people. That would be a really sexy talent to have I think.
Anything else? Well, not actively. Not interacting with people half as much as I should, but otherwise great. but I'm not going to push myself. Lemme be a bit antisocial for a while, and see how it goes. If I'm not wrong, I should be forced to interact with people eventually, out of sheer desperation. But then again ... well ... let's see!
p.s. Definately over my depression of the last few days, and life is looking good - perhaps too good. Perhaps I'll fall, and break a leg. But as my sis's journal says, "You can't learn to ride a bike if you worry too much about falling". So let's see? :) Been getting lots of 42's lately, but a few 43s as well, so not too sure what to make of it. Haha! It's 3:42am RIGHT NOW!
With lots and lots of love, Gaurav.
This post was posted by Unknown at 5:25 am
