Gaurav's Blog

This can usually be found on Twitter.

Well - who'da thunk it'd get that far? Yes, I know, not much in the Grand Scheme of Things, but for me, it's a milestone. I've been blogging on this blog (at this URL, even!) since March 2004. And in line with my be-all-introspective-and-shit mode, I get tagged and everything. So here goes ...

I tag everybody who visits my blog (which shouldn't be many). If your blog isn't listed in the list on the sidebar, leave me a URL in the comment so I can find it!

LAYER ONE: some basic info.
Name: Gaurav Vaidya. Drop the "Vaidya" if you know me, add "Girish" in between if you're going by my passport. Don't drop the "Gaurav", whatever you do, I don't like that.
Birth date: Feb 29, 1984
Birthplace: Dr. Char's Hospital, Wadala, Bombay, India
Current Location: Sunset Way, Clementi, Singapore
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: black, turning gray (and white)
Height: err ... 5'11", I think?
Righty or Lefty: dexter, not sinister

LAYER TWO: some additional background
Your heritage: Coastal Maharashtrian, by birth and so on. Cosmopoliton. Geek. Somewhere in between.
The shoes you wore today: badminton shoes (or were those tennis?)! (they've got nice shoes, and they're all white and pretty and stuff. Plus, they're pretty comfy, which is all I really ask from my shoes anyway)
Your weaknesses: Weaknesses? I assume 'real nastinesses' are coming up later ... I'm disorganised, unpunctual, anti-establishment, anti-authority, and have a bad habit of making up new words by mixing up old ones. I used to get overly attached to things, but I'm trying to work around that now. I talk too much, mostly about things I don't really know much about, and I tend to go on and on. My mood can range from needing people around to hating the thought of having people around, and I generally don't hide it much (or very well). While I'll listen to advice and file it away for future use, I'll generally not follow it right away, but go my own way instead, which tends to piss off the people who advise me. I used to have problems falling through with something (i.e. pulling it through to completion), but I think I'm getting better at this, too. I'll be impulsive when I ought to think through things, and I'll be caught in dilemmas when I ought to just pick and option and go with it. I like feeling in control, and feeling like I'm superior to others, and - in a few areas I'm actually proud of myself in - to rub it in, which must piss people off, too. I'm very judgemental about people, and if I dislike someone, I'll go out of my way to avoid them, which is probably pretty unfair. I also ought to exercise more.
Your fears: as near as I can tell, my biggest fear is being left out of the loop, of being ignored and passed on by. I also hate getting into fights I can't win. I don't like to lose, but I guess that's too common to count.
Your perfect pizza: the best I've ever had was this enormous thin-crust Hawaiian which lasted three days in our minifridge at the Hotel Banjara and Lake Resort in Hyderabad, India. I think it's the first "proper" pizza I had, and the first time I ate cold pizza a day or two after (cold pizza is one of the Essential Food Groups of the programming geek). Right now, my favourite flavour seem to be the spicy ones: the Singapore Special, the Tandoori Chicken, that sort of thing. But something I'll go back to capsicum-tomato-and-cheese for that special at-home feel.
Goal(s): Right now? Finishing Pam (Pam is ... well, I'll explain later, but it is a part of the Folsom Prison thing I've been posting about lately). Keeping up with work at lab. Trying to get off my rear end more - going out about town, exploring places, taking more photographs, meeting more people, doing more things, learning more about things I wouldn't otherwise know about. One of my major goals for next year is to travel more, just around Malaysia if I have to, further afield if possible. My goal - in the sense of a concrete something I'd like to achieve - is to have some means to survive after June 2007 which will keep me happy, healthy, well-fed, allow me to save up money for the future, but at the same time let me do work I enjoy, go to work in shorts, and be able to take time off whenever I need. Or want. That would really be something.

LAYER THREE: we get a little personal.
Your most overused phrase on AIM: There?
Your first waking thought: Depends. If my blood sugar is awwight, I'm generally happy and jumpy and ready to take on the day - and since my room is pretty uncomfy, get the heck out of there, which is nice. If my blood sugar is low, I'll be mopey, irritated, angry, in pain, tired, fatigued, lying there, waiting, hoping to sleep, hoping against hope, but it almost never works out that way, and when it does, that's when the more horrible of my dreams turn up.
Your best physical feature: I have no idea. I probably don't have one.
Your most missed memory: Oh, I know. But I'm not telling you. As a close second: being in love. Okay, fine: number one is thinking someone you love loves you back.

LAYER FOUR:
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi Twist, Coca Cola, 7-UP when my stomach is wonky.
McDonald's or Burger King: Ugh! BK's, for sure. I dig them Whoppers.
Single or group dates: Haven't really tried either, so how can I say?
Adidas or Nike: Right now, Wilson's (yes, the Badminton company). Can't stand either Nike or Adidas - the latter don't last long enough, the former don't fit my feet well enough. And have you seen them prices?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: No tea! NO TEA! Although Ice Lemon Tea ain't so bad ...
Chocolate or vanilla: Hmmm. Tough question. Depends on my mood, and the product - I love milk and dark chocolates, but I love vanilla in just about everything else.
Cappuccino or coffee: frappe? I don't really like hot coffees much, somehow, but I'll die (or kill) for a really first-rate frappe.

LAYER FIVE: a quasi-medical questionnaire
Smoke: No. Can't, or won't, whichever. My upper respiratory tract is pretty shit as is, and I wouldn't want to trouble the poor tubes.
Cuss: Yes. Quite a bit, and getting worse. The turning point was two overlapping crushes on two different girls in mid-2005, both of whom cussed like the world was about to end. I'll try to save "fuck!" up for special occasions, but I'm using bastard quite a bit, and just as a throwaway cuss too. No idea why, but I'm not having any problems with it yet, so blech.
Sing: Way too much :). And I have a horrible singing voice, so it's a torment and a shame. But when I've got headphones on, I can't hear myself sing, so what the hey? But yes, otherwise, I'm a huge lyrics fan, and I'll sing a song over and over until I've worked each word out, then save it back for later use. Atleast, in theory. Sometimes, I've just got to sit and learn the song all over again, generally by singing it loud and horribly :p ...
Take a shower everyday: yes (what kind of question is that, honestly?)
Do you think you've been in love?: Yes, I know so. I mean, my definition of love might change in the future, but under the definition I had back in whenever, I was in love. Maybe when you turn 25 you are visited by a daemon in blinding light who reveals the True Meaning of Love to you, but that's not going to change the fact that I thought I was in love.
Want to go to college: Graduated college.
Liked high school: NO. Really. Not at all. My friends were fun, obviously, and teachers have varied dramatically, but for me high school always seemed like a game where the prize was won by memorizing things and regurgitating them for future use later on, where so little of anything you learned had any relevance whatsoever, and where the only real thing you did learn was how to manage extremely complicated political situations involving teachers, principals, administrative staff, socially connected students, socially UNconnected students, and - heck - just about anybody in the near vicinity. Easily the happiest moment in my recent past was when I graduated from college, and realised that working life was just exactly as unlike studies as I'd always assumed it would be. It wasn't just a mirage. The politics vanished (atleast in my present job, and even then, atleast surrounding me. There's still politics, and lots of them, but I'm only as affected as I want to be). The homework - which always struck me as something analogous to doing 'tricks', like performing animals of some sort - vanished. You went to work, you worked, and then you got to come home and do something different until you went to sleep. Work was interesting, exciting and an opportunity to learn things while you worked as hard as you could just to make things happen. Sorry, horribly and completely off-topic, I know, but I've been really wanting to say this for a very long time.
Want to get married: Yeah, sure. But in no particular rush. There's still so very much to do.
Believe in yourself: Huh? I believe I exist, and I believe I am capable of certain things (writing an RSS Feed Reader) and I believe I may be capable of doing other things (starting my own company), and I know there's things I'm not capable of (going running everyday). What more is there?
Get motion sickness: Not significantly. Not yet.
Think you're attractive: Sometimes. But I do have a very strong imagination. Otherwise, not really. But I try not to think about it much.
Think you're a health freak: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA. Wait, you were serious? No.
Get along with your parent(s): Hmmm. Complicated. Very complicated. I get along with them, but I don't always enjoy their company, and I don't always enjoy their dynamic, although I suppose it works for them, and if they're happy, well. What can I say? I used to wish for something better, but now that I'm pretty far from home, it matters a whole lot less. So I just let them be (in my own way), and they let me be (in their own way), and ... that's that. Althoguh there's still a whole lot more tension than there ought to be, it's getting better, I think.
Like thunderstorms: LOVE thunderstorms. Unless I'm somewhere I could get struck by lighting. Or the thunderstorm is stopping me from doing something I like. Or if I'm feeling low to begin with. Although sometimes it's nice to have something nice and depressing when you're depressed? I don't know, maybe. I don't know.
Play an instrument: No :(. Tried learning a Casio keyboard a century or two ago, and the only thing it did was improve my finger control for computer keyboard typing :P. Tried learning a guitar less than a decade ago, but that too came to naught. Don't suppose I'll ever end up learning anything - it's not in my blood. Beside, with a voice like mine, how would I accompany it?

LAYER SIX: ie, the mini-purity test, tame version (anyone remember that?)
In the past month, have you...
Drank alcohol: Yes. I drank about 50 mls of beer (I really don't like beer, I was just depression drinking, unsuccessfully as it turned out), a coupla liquer ice-creams (the lychee martini ice cream near my house is to die for!), and I think one glass of very so-so Singapore Sling (but only because somebody else was paying). So nothing I really like, unfortunately.
Smoked: no.
Done a drug: no.
Made Out: no :(
Gone on a date: no
Gone to the mall?: yes! Well, I suppose so. It's hard not to accidently walk into one in Singapore, they're all over the place.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: not this month. Not since college! That's a good thing, right?
Eaten sushi: not in the last month. Not since mid-2006, and before that, mid-2005.
Been on stage: not in the last month. Not since - gawp! Early 2003. It's been a while.
Been dumped: last month? No. Not since (this is getting boring) mid-2006.
Gone skating: nope. In Singapore? Really?
Made homemade cookies: nope. Wouldn't know how! Eaten homemade cookies, yes.
Gone skinny dipping: no! I should, though! But the water around Singapore is pretty polluted ...
Dyed your hair: no. never. never!
Stolen Anything: Thinks real hard Can't say that I have!

LAYER SEVEN: very bad things that i take little part in
Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: no! Hmmm.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No! Not yet, and hopefully, never. I don't think I'd be a big fan of getting trashed.
Been caught "doing something": I was once caught working, to both mine and everybody else's astonishment! I also caught myself enjoying work several times this week. But nothing worse than that.
Been called a tease: no. Been called an *anything*, almost no. Except maybe 'geek', which is pretty accurate.
Gotten beaten up: nope. I got punched in the eye once, but that was really long ago.
Shoplifted: nope. Alas. Such boring lives we lead.
Changed who you were to fit in: *squints* Probably. Probably many, many times, without really realising it, until I got back to normal and went, golly, what was that all about? But otherwise, no. I always end up as myself - being anyone else is just too much effort for me.

LAYER EIGHT: hopes & dreams
Age you hope to be married: Haha! No idea. One rule I've got is that I don't particularly care about this. I could be eighty and single, or forty two and thrice divorced, it's just not that important (well, divorces don't sound like much fun, but I exaggerate to make a point, yes?). Right now, I know I've got a lot to learn about relationships and love and friendship and all that crazy stuff, and I'm prepared to spend the time to learn it all and get it right. So that when I do get married, I can find new and exciting ways to screw things up :p.
Numbers and Names of Children: Haha. No, I don't have one of those. I'd find thinking about hypothetic children kind of creepy. I'd probably hate to have one kid, though: my sister was good fun, even when she wasn't, and I'd hate to deny my sons/daughter/offspring that. Other than that, violent shrugs and pass the gravy.
Describe your Dream Wedding: Am so tempted to just keep Rivka's description: "small, efficient, with family and close friends. Good food." That wouldn't be a very fun Indian wedding, although I probably wouldn't want one of those. Maybe we can compromise? My family and folks can have the big wedding, I'll go off and get married in the afternoon, and then join them for the celebration later?
How do you want to die: "cognitively intact", yes. I had a granduncle of sorts who died, as near as I could tell, lonely, broken, sad, unhappy, and sickly. I'd hate to go like that. I suppose maybe like my grandad - heart attack late one night, and dead by morning. Definitely not like my grandmom. Either grandmom.
Where you want to go to college: Well, I went to NUS. I only applied to three places: NUS, NTU, and St. Joseph's in Bangalore. Two turned me down, so I went to the third. Now, it's not just too late to reconsider it - it's entirely too late to regret it. I could have easily learned the lessons I did somewhere else, but I did learn them here, amongst these people. Besides, I love Singapore. It's so different, and yet so much the same - and yet so completely crazy in a way I've never seen in a city before.
What do you want to be when you grow up: I don't know. Somebody who makes a different is my particular trite response to this, but how? Time will tell. Or, you know, it won't. Who knows? Who cares?
What country would you most like to visit: I don't have one. Really. I love India, and I love Singapore. I'm kinda skeptical of the US, Australia, NZ, UK, etc. etc. Maybe Canada? Maybe Europe? Maybe Russia? Maybe China? Dunno. I do need to travel more. A whole lot more.

LAYER NINE: aren't we through to the chewy center yet?
Number of drugs taken illegally: zero.
Number of people I can trust with my life: *blinks* 4? Really? Wow. Me? Probably nobody. Not even my parents. Well, maybe them - they've got a track record in protecting it thus far, I guess.
Number of CDs that I own: Not enough? Too many? Something like that. I've lot track. I don't download music off the 'net, though, so almost all of my music is off CDs, and I've got atleast 3.7 Gigs of that.
Number of piercings: none
Number of tattoos: none
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Atleast once (a computer trivia quiz), maybe a couple more times. Nothing big, nothing famous. That was one heck of a quiz, though.
Number of scars on my body: Sigh. Let's see: surgical scar on left ankle, correctional surgery for club foot. Small spot on chest, under left nipple, spilling boiling water on myself. Scar on left elbow, falling backwards through glass table (that was some glass table. I was directly or indirectly responsible for breaking the glass on it three times, once by falling backwards through it). Smallpox immunization on left upper arm. And my personal favourite: quietly fading, barely visible scratches made by my cat, Yoko (who died in January this year) back in 2000/01, while I was on the phone chatting with the second girl I had a major crush on. They've been on for atleast five years now, so - who knows? - maybe they'll stay a little longer.
Number of things in my past that I regret: Who knows? Millions - billions - of little things, one failed word here, one action taken in anger there, one opportunity lost, one shove too far there. People I've lost touch with after grand fights, and those I lost by just not writing in too long. Most of all, things I did out of emotion - anger, fear, jealousy, hatred, fear - which ended up hurting people. I hate hurting people, and I hate feeling responsible for their pain.
Best thing I've ever done: falling in love with the people I did? I dunno. There's so many little things, too, that I got right, or where I was there, or when I was available at 4am to talk to someone, or when I knew where to take someone else so she'd feel better, or when I cheered someone else up, or talked someone else about not worrying about something and just enjoying things while they can. The little things.

Okay, that's it. Let's see you guys fill up your forms now! Hop to it, amigos!

This post was posted by Unknown at 2:09 am