Gaurav's Blog

This can usually be found on Twitter.

So, for the second time in two days, I'm up at 6am, writing something.

Yesterday, btw, I didn't wake up until after 4pm. 4pm! You see why I need to stay away from "conventional" job so badly.

After that it was all pretty crap for a while, as I struggled with the possibility of walking into lab at six p.m. (I eventually copped out; after generally shabby reporting times this week -- although I would then stay pretty late, too -- it was too much to bear). Went out for Black Snake Moan with K. and Y. Later hung out with same and W. Had a little wine. Nice, nice. Promised myself I'd go in to work today, but hey, I was up all night again, too. It's odd, I can't remember being up all night, but I guess if I'm still awake now, I must have been. Right? Right. I mean, I got home at around half past two, so I suppose it wasn't all that long or anything, and then there's the salad and all, but that's later. So, yes.

I like inevitabilities, as I believe I've mentioned before. There is something very rest-your-shoulder-against-the-wall relaxing about them; you know they're coming, and so you're ready, and once they're actually here you can just lean back and watch as things unfold. There's no need to actively do anything - it's inevitable, anyway, right? You just lean back and watch, wonder what's coming next, and - I don't know - think things through or something, I suppose.

The other disturbing thought I've had is: do my crushes run on autopilot now? Not that I don't enjoy them or anything. But it seems like all my crushes run along nearly identical lines now. Is this the discovery of a pattern that works? Or a lack of creativity leading to the playing of the same old comfortable notes? Or is it just that I've found my half of the Dance?

No, how stupid. There is no half of the Dance. The Dance is whole or nothing.

Salad. I had a salad-sandwitch for breakfast. I need to eat this much more often, otherwise my vegetables will all go bad and die. The problem is, salad-sandwitches are so filling, two are more than enough to keep you going for ages. So finishing the vegis can become a bit of an ordeal.

Okay, that randomly meandered for much longer than expected. Should go to sleep now. Well, no: should go to work now, will go to sleep now. Or something like that.

Labels: crushes, inevitability, salad, sleepy, the Dance, today, vegetables

This post was posted by Unknown at 4:09 am